Reducing lust

Buddhist ethical conduct including the Five Precepts (Pañcasikkhāpada), and Eightfold Ethical Conduct (Aṭṭhasīla).
Post Reply
befriend
Posts: 2284
Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2011 11:39 am

Reducing lust

Post by befriend »

I can't do asubha for diminishing lust because of a mental condition but I can see all women as a sister or mother which is also recommended and seeing women as impermanent and not being hyper aware of their beautiful parts. Just thought I'd share that if someone can't practice asubha.
Take care of mindfulness and mindfulness will take care of you.
User avatar
Sam Vara
Site Admin
Posts: 13482
Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2011 5:42 pm
Location: Portsmouth, U.K.

Re: Reducing lust

Post by Sam Vara »

befriend wrote: Thu Jun 25, 2020 4:26 pm I can't do asubha for diminishing lust because of a mental condition but I can see all women as a sister or mother which is also recommended and seeing women as impermanent and not being hyper aware of their beautiful parts. Just thought I'd share that if someone can't practice asubha.
Thank you, I think that is excellent advice. It seems gentler, and avoids the pitfalls of disgust and misogyny, and is probably more effective. :anjali:
befriend
Posts: 2284
Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2011 11:39 am

Re: Reducing lust

Post by befriend »

I did it today with two women and not only did I not have lust I had affinity for them instead because I think of my actual sister in high esteem.
Take care of mindfulness and mindfulness will take care of you.
User avatar
confusedlayman
Posts: 6231
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2019 12:16 am
Location: Human Realm (as of now)

Re: Reducing lust

Post by confusedlayman »

investigate non self of aggregates combo thats the only way

u will ask is lust need for any of 5 aggregates? u will laugh at ur ignorance when u dont maintain non self view
I may be slow learner but im at least learning...
User avatar
lavantien
Posts: 98
Joined: Tue May 21, 2019 5:09 am
Location: HCM, Vietnam
Contact:

Re: Reducing lust

Post by lavantien »

befriend wrote: Thu Jun 25, 2020 4:26 pm I can't do asubha for diminishing lust because of a mental condition but I can see all women as a sister or mother which is also recommended and seeing women as impermanent and not being hyper aware of their beautiful parts. Just thought I'd share that if someone can't practice asubha.
Glad that this work for you and I hope it'll keep working well until the final destruction, the total uprooting of lust at Anagami.

Seeing women as your relatives is just one out of 3 practices that the Buddha recommend his disciples to frequently doing to keep the holy life (brahmacariya) pure. That's is: develop perception of relatives, contemplate on 31 parts of your body, and guard your sense doors with utmost mindfulness.
https://suttacentral.net/sn35.127 wrote: “Master Bhāradvāja, there are these young monks who are youthful, black-haired, blessed with youth, in the prime of life; and they’ve never played around with sensual pleasures. What is the cause, what is the reason why they practice the full and pure spiritual life as long as they live, maintaining it for a long time?”

“Great king, this has been stated by the Blessed One, who knows and sees, the perfected one, the fully awakened Buddha:

‘Please, monks, think of women your mother’s age as your mother. Think of women your sister’s age as your sister. And think of women your daughter’s age as your daughter.’
...
‘Please, monks, examine your own body up from the soles of the feet and down from the tips of the hairs, wrapped in skin and full of many kinds of filth. In this body there is head hair, body hair, nails, teeth, skin, flesh, sinews, bones, bone marrow, kidneys, heart, liver, diaphragm, spleen, lungs, intestines, mesentery, undigested food, feces, bile, phlegm, pus, blood, sweat, fat, tears, grease, saliva, snot, synovial fluid, urine.’
...
‘Please, monks, live with sense doors guarded. When you see a sight with your eyes, don’t get caught up in the features and details. If the faculty of sight were left unrestrained, bad unskillful qualities of desire and aversion would become overwhelming. For this reason, practice restraint, protect the faculty of sight, and achieve its restraint. When you hear a sound with your ears … When you smell an odor with your nose … When you taste a flavor with your tongue … When you feel a touch with your body … When you know a thought with your mind, don’t get caught up in the features and details. If the faculty of mind were left unrestrained, bad unskillful qualities of desire and aversion would become overwhelming. For this reason, practice restraint, protect the faculty of mind, and achieve its restraint.’

This is also a cause, great king, this is a reason why these young monks practice the full and pure spiritual life as long as they live, maintaining it for a long time.”
"Then the Teacher, being sympathetic, and having compassion for the whole world,
said to me, “Come, monk!” That was my ordination.
Staying alone in the wilderness, meditating tirelessly,
I have completed what the Teacher taught, just as the victor advised me.

In the first watch of the night, I recollected my past lives.
In the middle watch of the night, I purified my clairvoyance.
In the last watch of the night, I shattered the mass of darkness."
- KN Thag 12.2
SteRo
Posts: 5950
Joined: Fri Oct 11, 2019 10:27 am
Location: Εὐρώπη Eurṓpē

Re: Reducing lust

Post by SteRo »

confusedlayman wrote: Thu Jun 25, 2020 7:10 pm investigate non self of aggregates combo thats the only way

u will ask is lust need for any of 5 aggregates? u will laugh at ur ignorance when u dont maintain non self view
What's going on in your mind when you are saying things like that? Do you believe what you are saying?
Cleared. αδόξαστος.
User avatar
confusedlayman
Posts: 6231
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2019 12:16 am
Location: Human Realm (as of now)

Re: Reducing lust

Post by confusedlayman »

SteRo wrote: Fri Jun 26, 2020 9:48 am
confusedlayman wrote: Thu Jun 25, 2020 7:10 pm investigate non self of aggregates combo thats the only way

u will ask is lust need for any of 5 aggregates? u will laugh at ur ignorance when u dont maintain non self view
What's going on in your mind when you are saying things like that? Do you believe what you are saying?
i dont belive but i know for myself.

lust arise will lead to feeling ... if u think from conceit point of view u might continue lust

but if u see non self and impermanent of aggregate, when u ask which person is there in this aggregates who wants lust? u find none, which means lust also ends there

If body, perception, conciousness dont want lust similar to how ur computer dont want lust...

due to wrong view or conceit, there is arising of lust leads to feeling due to idea of someone enjoying it.. but when it is seen only as process after process, why lust for someone who dont exist?
I may be slow learner but im at least learning...
SteRo
Posts: 5950
Joined: Fri Oct 11, 2019 10:27 am
Location: Εὐρώπη Eurṓpē

Re: Reducing lust

Post by SteRo »

confusedlayman wrote: Fri Jun 26, 2020 1:49 pm
SteRo wrote: Fri Jun 26, 2020 9:48 am
confusedlayman wrote: Thu Jun 25, 2020 7:10 pm investigate non self of aggregates combo thats the only way

u will ask is lust need for any of 5 aggregates? u will laugh at ur ignorance when u dont maintain non self view
What's going on in your mind when you are saying things like that? Do you believe what you are saying?
i dont belive but i know for myself.

lust arise will lead to feeling ... if u think from conceit point of view u might continue lust

but if u see non self and impermanent of aggregate, when u ask which person is there in this aggregates who wants lust? u find none, which means lust also ends there

If body, perception, conciousness dont want lust similar to how ur computer dont want lust...

due to wrong view or conceit, there is arising of lust leads to feeling due to idea of someone enjoying it.. but when it is seen only as process after process, why lust for someone who dont exist?
1. you said "thats the only way" which would definitely be wrong
2. I don't buy that you practice successfully the way you are fabricating here.
Cleared. αδόξαστος.
User avatar
confusedlayman
Posts: 6231
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2019 12:16 am
Location: Human Realm (as of now)

Re: Reducing lust

Post by confusedlayman »

SteRo wrote: Fri Jun 26, 2020 1:57 pm
confusedlayman wrote: Fri Jun 26, 2020 1:49 pm
SteRo wrote: Fri Jun 26, 2020 9:48 am

What's going on in your mind when you are saying things like that? Do you believe what you are saying?
i dont belive but i know for myself.

lust arise will lead to feeling ... if u think from conceit point of view u might continue lust

but if u see non self and impermanent of aggregate, when u ask which person is there in this aggregates who wants lust? u find none, which means lust also ends there

If body, perception, conciousness dont want lust similar to how ur computer dont want lust...

due to wrong view or conceit, there is arising of lust leads to feeling due to idea of someone enjoying it.. but when it is seen only as process after process, why lust for someone who dont exist?
1. you said "thats the only way" which would definitely be wrong
2. I don't buy that you practice successfully the way you are fabricating here.
thats the only way means final ultimate solution.

about 2nd, im successfull when i do but i dont do always but now the so called lust can be eliminated at will or can be enjoyed at will... extra freedom...
I may be slow learner but im at least learning...
SteRo
Posts: 5950
Joined: Fri Oct 11, 2019 10:27 am
Location: Εὐρώπη Eurṓpē

Re: Reducing lust

Post by SteRo »

confusedlayman wrote: Fri Jun 26, 2020 2:11 pm ... but now the so called lust can be eliminated at will or can be enjoyed at will... extra freedom...
Aha, I guess what you call "extra freedom" is indulging in lust at will and when temporary satisfaction has been attained it is eliminated at will and then continue on that path.
Cleared. αδόξαστος.
User avatar
lavantien
Posts: 98
Joined: Tue May 21, 2019 5:09 am
Location: HCM, Vietnam
Contact:

Re: Reducing lust

Post by lavantien »

confusedlayman wrote: Fri Jun 26, 2020 2:11 pm can be enjoyed at will... extra freedom...
Seems like extra lust :juggling: and after that, post nut clarity :sage:

But good luck to your strategy anyway, hopefully you'll reach anagami soon.
"Then the Teacher, being sympathetic, and having compassion for the whole world,
said to me, “Come, monk!” That was my ordination.
Staying alone in the wilderness, meditating tirelessly,
I have completed what the Teacher taught, just as the victor advised me.

In the first watch of the night, I recollected my past lives.
In the middle watch of the night, I purified my clairvoyance.
In the last watch of the night, I shattered the mass of darkness."
- KN Thag 12.2
User avatar
confusedlayman
Posts: 6231
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2019 12:16 am
Location: Human Realm (as of now)

Re: Reducing lust

Post by confusedlayman »

SteRo wrote: Sat Jun 27, 2020 3:58 am
confusedlayman wrote: Fri Jun 26, 2020 2:11 pm ... but now the so called lust can be eliminated at will or can be enjoyed at will... extra freedom...
Aha, I guess what you call "extra freedom" is indulging in lust at will and when temporary satisfaction has been attained it is eliminated at will and then continue on that path.
no... it can be avoided before indulging
I may be slow learner but im at least learning...
ezza
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Feb 26, 2019 7:09 am

Re: Reducing lust

Post by ezza »

There is also body contemplation but not viewing it from an unattractive manner. Simply viewing it in terms of their elements, earth, water, fire, air etc. So a more neutral stance

Ajahn Achalo has a guided meditation on this via Insight Timer "Metta & investigation of the body as elements in empty space"
befriend
Posts: 2284
Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2011 11:39 am

Re: Reducing lust

Post by befriend »

Thank you. Also just being mindful/ having awareness helps.
Take care of mindfulness and mindfulness will take care of you.
Post Reply