is being a sugar daddy good kamma?

Buddhist ethical conduct including the Five Precepts (Pañcasikkhāpada), and Eightfold Ethical Conduct (Aṭṭhasīla).
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salayatananirodha
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is being a sugar daddy good kamma?

Post by salayatananirodha »

if i gave money to someone because i found him attractive, did i make good kamma?
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Disciple
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Re: is being a sugar daddy good kamma?

Post by Disciple »

salayatananirodha wrote: Fri Feb 26, 2021 5:33 pm if i gave money to someone because i found him attractive, did i make good kamma?
I don't think so because the whole point of being a sugar daddy is to give money and gifts in exchange for sex. This is no different than paying a prostitute. Neutral kamma, maybe?
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Re: is being a sugar daddy good kamma?

Post by robertk »

It's not giving when you are getting/hoping for something in return.
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Re: is being a sugar daddy good kamma?

Post by sphairos »

salayatananirodha wrote: Fri Feb 26, 2021 5:33 pm if i gave money to someone because i found him attractive, did i make good kamma?
yes, like giving a huge tip to a prostitute ;)
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Re: is being a sugar daddy good kamma?

Post by confusedlayman »

bad kamma... leads to lower rebirth as that action based on wrong view ...
I may be slow learner but im at least learning...
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Re: is being a sugar daddy good kamma?

Post by salayatananirodha »

Disciple wrote: Fri Feb 26, 2021 5:39 pm
salayatananirodha wrote: Fri Feb 26, 2021 5:33 pm if i gave money to someone because i found him attractive, did i make good kamma?
I don't think so because the whole point of being a sugar daddy is to give money and gifts in exchange for sex. This is no different than paying a prostitute. Neutral kamma, maybe?
what if you dont have sex
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salayatananirodha
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Re: is being a sugar daddy good kamma?

Post by salayatananirodha »

robertk wrote: Fri Feb 26, 2021 5:40 pm It's not giving when you are getting/hoping for something in return.
what if you dont ask for anything in return?

also,
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an07/an07.049.than.html wrote:"Sariputta, there is the case where a person gives a gift seeking his own profit, with a mind attached [to the reward], seeking to store up for himself [with the thought], 'I'll enjoy this after death.' He gives his gift — food, drink, clothing, a vehicle; a garland, perfume, & ointment; bedding, shelter, & a lamp — to a brahman or a contemplative. What do you think, Sariputta? Might a person give such a gift as this?"

"Yes, lord."

"Having given this gift seeking his own profit — with a mind attached [to the reward], seeking to store up for himself, [with the thought], 'I'll enjoy this after death' — on the break-up of the body, after death, he reappears in the company of the Four Great Kings. Then, having exhausted that action, that power, that status, that sovereignty, he is a returner, coming back to this world.
in this case, even tho the person is greedy for the fruit of kamma, it's a fruitful action
not as fruitful as it could be but fruitful nonetheless
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Re: is being a sugar daddy good kamma?

Post by salayatananirodha »

sphairos wrote: Fri Feb 26, 2021 5:44 pm
salayatananirodha wrote: Fri Feb 26, 2021 5:33 pm if i gave money to someone because i found him attractive, did i make good kamma?
yes, like giving a huge tip to a prostitute ;)
you could make a case for this, but what if you just enjoy giving gifts to a particular person? don't have to do anything intimate, you just enjoy thinking about that person's benefit
i'm not here to defend myself, but i would like a more critical review
any chance this is a good thing
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Re: is being a sugar daddy good kamma?

Post by dharmacorps »

salayatananirodha wrote: Fri Feb 26, 2021 5:33 pm if i gave money to someone because i found him attractive, did i make good kamma?
No because your motivation (kamma) was lust.
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Re: is being a sugar daddy good kamma?

Post by Sam Vara »

salayatananirodha wrote: Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:19 pm
sphairos wrote: Fri Feb 26, 2021 5:44 pm
salayatananirodha wrote: Fri Feb 26, 2021 5:33 pm if i gave money to someone because i found him attractive, did i make good kamma?
yes, like giving a huge tip to a prostitute ;)
you could make a case for this, but what if you just enjoy giving gifts to a particular person? don't have to do anything intimate, you just enjoy thinking about that person's benefit
i'm not here to defend myself, but i would like a more critical review
any chance this is a good thing
That might be "mixed kamma"; good and bad with good and bad result. Giving in a purely disinterested way is good, but raises the question of why this particular person (rather than, say, the Sangha, where giving has most fruit) and whether a person giving in this way has some kind of motive they don't admit even to themselves.
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Re: is being a sugar daddy good kamma?

Post by salayatananirodha »

dharmacorps wrote: Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:22 pm
salayatananirodha wrote: Fri Feb 26, 2021 5:33 pm if i gave money to someone because i found him attractive, did i make good kamma?
No because your motivation (kamma) was lust.
mind states can be difficult to trace, but this in at least some part is true
in my thought i perhaps could find some kind of wholesome avenue to relieve my sexual frustration - but im very anti-mixing sex and religion. as its clear to me the buddha disapproved of sex
but also i have generally embraced the practice of giving and have made many offerings to buddhists and non-buddhists alike.
it's hard for me to regret this, except that it would be better given to the (ariya-)saṅgha.
perhaps the question could be rephrased.
i'm learning this 'sugar daddy' also is a term that might have unintended implications
if i am glad i was able to help this person get groceries and gas for their vehicle and supplies for their art class and workout equipment does it not have a bright component? (dark-and-bright)
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Re: is being a sugar daddy good kamma?

Post by salayatananirodha »

Sam Vara wrote: Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:31 pm That might be "mixed kamma"; good and bad with good and bad result. Giving in a purely disinterested way is good, but raises the question of why this particular person (rather than, say, the Sangha, where giving has most fruit) and whether a person giving in this way has some kind of motive they don't admit even to themselves.
Giving in a purely disinterested way is good
why do people say this? in the dana sutta, the highest motivation for giving is that it is 'an ornament for the mind, a support for the mind'. just one example of many that shows that it's a good thing to practice for your own welfare.
furthermore, https://tipitaka.fandom.com/wiki/Mahavagga_8.15
https://obo.genaud.net/dhamma-vinaya/pt ... od.pts.htm
but yeah, i obviously want some kind of attention from someone attractive. kinda sad but
also, i fall back on the fact that giving in itself is a pure action with happy consequences
i only wish the person could have been a buddhist honestly, but maybe if we talk back and forth enough he will convert
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Re: is being a sugar daddy good kamma?

Post by salayatananirodha »

confusedlayman wrote: Fri Feb 26, 2021 6:36 pm bad kamma... leads to lower rebirth as that action based on wrong view ...
dont people buy their husbands or wives gifts all the time? what about valentines day
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Re: is being a sugar daddy good kamma?

Post by dharmacorps »

salayatananirodha wrote: Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:38 pm as its clear to me the buddha disapproved of sex
This categorical statement is plainly wrong. The Buddha explicitly did not discourage sex among lay married people. You're muddying the waters in your understanding of this issue by adopting an extreme position.
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Re: is being a sugar daddy good kamma?

Post by DooDoot »

salayatananirodha wrote: Fri Feb 26, 2021 5:33 pm if i gave money to someone because i found him attractive, did i make good kamma?
its much better kamma than giving him sex
salayatananirodha wrote: Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:38 pm in my thought i perhaps could find some kind of wholesome avenue to relieve my sexual frustration
yes, giving is certainly a way to substitute for sex because both are ways to derive pleasure however giving is a harmless pleasure while sex can be a harmful pleasure
salayatananirodha wrote: Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:38 pm but im very anti-mixing sex and religion. as its clear to me the buddha disapproved of sex
the buddha disapproved of unwholesome or unskillful sex, such as those bdsm things u recently posted about, which will only cause many types of tenacious & nasty hindrances to accumulate

however, the buddha did not disapprove of ordinary people having sex in lasting relationships based in mutual goals & virtues as taught in AN 4.55. for example, i have two very good gay friends who have been partners for nearly 50 years

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