it's important for laity too https://legacy.suttacentral.net/en/snp2.14JamesTheGiant wrote: ↑Wed Mar 10, 2021 4:17 amTotal celibacy is important for monks.salayatananirodha wrote: ↑Wed Mar 10, 2021 3:16 am please share any tips you have for maintaining celibacy (including masturbation)
Don't torture yourself by trying for celibacy as a layperson.
Sure it can be useful, but better to spend your time establishing a good meditation practise, and other wholesome parts of your life.
Do you meditate at least several hours a day? No? Then don't even bother trying for celibacy.
Come back and ask the question again, after you are meditating several hours a day. After you are maintaining the 5 or 8 precepts, pure.
First things first.
only not 100% necessary for us.
i know you can have a sexual relationship and still become a stream enterer or a once-returner.
but in my personal experience, my sexual desire has caused me a lot of pain. i dislike pain.
all things equal, the fruit of celibacy added is immensely great. was looking for a dhammapada quote i read on this...
there are also various laypeople in the suttas who take up the five precepts including celibacy. again i'm lacking a reference but i've specifically read this (think it was in bhikkhu bodhi's anguttara nikaya anthology)
for example too there were two once returners, and one of them had a wife; uncelibate but had great wisdom -- the other was celibate but had less wisdom.
of course, i could develop wisdom but thats not my point. its something not required but its great for laypeople. and for me sexuality functions like an addiction. if i cant have it moderately i dont want it. its extreme and its scary and its shameful. i know we're a more 'sexually awakened' society now but really we're more perverted and more corrupted.
but since the topic is, 'celibacy tips' i will accept your condensed answer of 'keep 5 or 8 precepts and meditate several hours a day'