experiences and realizations

On the cultivation of insight/wisdom
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maniture_85
Posts: 205
Joined: Wed Apr 01, 2020 3:25 pm

experiences and realizations

Post by maniture_85 »

I'm having some experiences/realizations in the last weeks.
In certain moments i can "see" people trapped in their cycle of sankhara, and "see" them suffering because of some craving or aversion toward something. Following this, compassion arise.

Memories from the past sometimes arise due to tranquillity in daily life, most of times when alone and mindful. A link seems to appear at that point: at that time i was so happy because i didn't have that craving, or that aversion. When passing to concentration to tranquillity during these episodes, i feel that i have some bad sensation hurting me. When i no longer feel it as "negative" and i'm tranquil, memory from the past plus very pleasant sensations can arise.

I'm seeing how stupid i behaved in the past. For example meeting people in order to get more ego, to get intoxicants. I liked a very small few of them. I tought i liked that people without having a reason for it. This kind of perspective change is going on on other aspects of life.

I feel i've lost myself because i have intellectualized the world in a obscene way. When i was asked "how are you?", for example, i used to answer thinking about how was my job going, how with girls was going, how many friends i had that period, etc. It was out of my understanding to answer how i actually felt, unless i felt almost sick. Thinking about it, it is somehow shocking. Was that person "me", acting as "me" in the world? Or was it someone else created by the intellectualization?
This realization feels like "i'm" something that is clearly seeing what has gone on inside my brain. Some problem on interpretation of the world was going on, and for that i suffered very hard. That was deep ignorance about myself.
I know the traumas that generated all of this, but i have lowered a lot the anger towards this events and its consequences. Everyone has to fight with its own suffering.

I'm generally far less hunted by bad toughts compared with a months ago, and life is getting a different taste. Concentrating of bodily sensations and noticing sankharas is far simpler, and daily life is positively affected.
I feel all of that is going to bring changes in my life soon, and for sure it will on the long term.
Have you ever experienced any of this or something similar?
SarathW
Posts: 21227
Joined: Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:49 am

Re: experiences and realizations

Post by SarathW »

Thank you for sharing your experience.
It appears to me this is the result of arising Sati in your daily life. (Satipathana)
Now you have to develop this to the level of seven factors of enlightenment.
I am glad you found the refuge of Dhamma.
:anjali:
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”
maniture_85
Posts: 205
Joined: Wed Apr 01, 2020 3:25 pm

Re: experiences and realizations

Post by maniture_85 »

SarathW wrote: Fri Jul 23, 2021 11:38 pm Thank you for sharing your experience.
It appears to me this is the result of arising Sati in your daily life. (Satipathana)
Now you have to develop this to the level of seven factors of enlightenment.
I am glad you found the refuge of Dhamma.
:anjali:
Thanks for your answer. I don't have any guide and i'm quite ignorant about theory, so sharing and listen to others is important for me to get better understanding.
Regarding thee arising of Sati, there is an important point. I already had mindful moments in daily life, but this time everything is more profound. I think the merit is that mindfulness is maintained somehow automatically. I'm having a sequence of days where i'm satisfied most of the time, where i stay with the reality of sensations for quite long periods. This seems to give clarity and presence to a higher level than before. Because neuroticism is drastically reduced, i feel like "i'm" another person than before. I feel i was "sleeping" in some way, and starting to think that about others. If i think about a mate, i want an "awaken" one, because it is an awesome quality. As awaken, i mean understanding important aspects of life.
So is Sati becoming greater and i'm noticing greater effects or is it just arising as a new "quality" i should investigate from scratch?
SarathW
Posts: 21227
Joined: Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:49 am

Re: experiences and realizations

Post by SarathW »

So is Sati becoming greater and i'm noticing greater effects or is it just arising as a new "quality"?
I only have some theoretical knowledge of this matter.
Please read Satipathana sutta. It is important that you are fully acquainted with Sutta so that you can evaluate your progress yourself.
The way I understand the seven factors of enlightenment is the peak of Satipathana then you move to the attainment of four sainhood.
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”
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