should I marry or be single?

Balancing family life and the Dhamma, in pursuit of a happy lay life.
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Mahabrahma
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Re: should I marry or be single?

Post by Mahabrahma »

Let Love guide you :smile: :heart: .
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confusedlayman
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Re: should I marry or be single?

Post by confusedlayman »

Mahabrahma wrote: Sat Sep 26, 2020 5:38 am Let Love guide you :smile: :heart: .
Whats the use when v gng to die one day?
dont think
Inedible
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Re: should I marry or be single?

Post by Inedible »

Aside from The Big E, the best thing you can get is some love.
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Mahabrahma
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Re: should I marry or be single?

Post by Mahabrahma »

confusedlayman wrote: Sat Sep 26, 2020 6:34 am
Mahabrahma wrote: Sat Sep 26, 2020 5:38 am Let Love guide you :smile: :heart: .
Whats the use when v gng to die one day?
Because when you wake up to what you truly want, Love is all you will want. How you decide to Love is up to you, whether through celibate monkhood, being single, a relationship, or marriage, you are going to want Love. The goal of life is to Love, Love is the goal of life, not nonexistence, and Buddhahood is Perfect Love. Open up to your own Buddhahood, and you will see how you have infinite, Eternal Love.
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Re: should I marry or be single?

Post by unknown »

Good advice to reach Brahma realm.
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Mahabrahma
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Re: should I marry or be single?

Post by Mahabrahma »

unknown wrote: Sat Sep 26, 2020 8:18 am Good advice to reach Brahma realm.
Brahma's realm may be high and there is great enjoyment and wisdom there, but it still is a temporary place despite the extremely long amount of lifespan there. There is another world beyond this one, beyond all the planets and worlds and realms located in the Saha world, and you should search out information of the Spiritual World beyond the Saha world. That will be your saving grace.
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Re: should I marry or be single?

Post by unknown »

Love is also temporary. Wanting love and having it as the goal of practice can lead to attachment to it.

Developing love can greatly aid practice, but wanting it and having it as the goal of the whole practice could be an obstacle to ones progress.

It could obscure conviction in Buddha's teachings as they are and also make one unable to realize the drawbacks of anything temporary and conditioned. Which is needed for practicioner to advance.

With love, you can reach Brahma worlds. It can be done without Buddhism.

For higher than this, more than love is needed. Even higher parts of "Saha" are out of reach.
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Mahabrahma
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Re: should I marry or be single?

Post by Mahabrahma »

unknown wrote: Sat Sep 26, 2020 1:34 pm Love is also temporary. Wanting love and having it as the goal of practice can lead to attachment to it.

Developing love can greatly aid practice, but wanting it and having it as the goal of the whole practice could be an obstacle to ones progress.

It could obscure conviction in Buddha's teachings as they are and also make one unable to realize the drawbacks of anything temporary and conditioned. Which is needed for practicioner to advance.

With love, you can reach Brahma worlds. It can be done without Buddhism.

For higher than this, more than love is needed. Even higher parts of "Saha" are out of reach.
I really like the way you think. There is nothing more than Love though, but there is always more and more of it. Buddha teaches us how to Love Perfectly and the purpose of compassion is to teach us that all real Love is Buddhist. This requires Transcendental understanding and not a mundane concept of attachments and Love being intertwined. Sure, one can be attached to Love, be even possessed by it as an object, but without that Love they would be a completely fallen being. Love saves, and is the goal of all true aesthetics, for without it one cannot walk the path to Buddhahood.
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Re: should I marry or be single?

Post by unknown »

Could you provide a source that there is nothing higher than love?

Developing only love could lead one to be reborn in the same realm as those reaching first jhana. Above it, there is a lot more.

Benefits and dangers of different kinds of love:
Mendicants, you can expect eight benefits when the heart’s release by love has been cultivated, developed, and practiced, made a vehicle and a basis, kept up, consolidated, and properly implemented. What eight? You sleep well. You wake happily. You don’t see bad dreams. Humans love you. Non-humans love you. Deities protect you. You can’t be harmed by fire, poison, or blade. If you don’t reach any higher, you’ll be reborn in a Brahmā realm. You can expect these eight benefits when the heart’s release by love has been cultivated, developed, and practiced, made a vehicle and a basis, kept up, consolidated, and properly implemented.

https://suttacentral.net/an8.1/en/sujato
Engaging oneself in what is not suitable, not engaging in what is suitable,
abandoning the good, grasping the loved, he envies the one who endeavours for himself.

Do not associate at any time with those who are loved or with those unloved,
there is suffering not meeting those loved, and suffering from meeting those unloved.

Therefore do not hold anything as loved, for losing those who are loved is loathsome.
There are no knots for those who hold nothing as loved or as unloved.

From love there arises grief, from love there arises fear,
for one who is free from love there is no grief, how is there fear?

From fondness there arises grief, from fondness there arises fear,
for one who is free from fondness there is no grief, how is there fear?

From delight there arises grief, from delight there arises fear,
for one who is free from delight there is no grief, how is there fear?

From desire there arises grief, from desire there arises fear,
for one who is free from desire there is no grief, how is there fear?

From craving there arises grief, from craving there arises fear,
for one who is free from craving there is no grief, how is there fear?
https://suttacentral.net/dhp209-220/en/anandajoti
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Mahabrahma
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Re: should I marry or be single?

Post by Mahabrahma »

God is Love is written in the Holy Bible, and although this is a Theravada Buddhist website I believe it's something you need to hear, because in that sense Buddha is Love, the paths fully are One for the Enlightened. The Buddha is only Love and nothing else. When you come to these truths you won't doubt Love, which is the most important thing in the world.
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Re: should I marry or be single?

Post by unknown »

The paths are not one, according to Bible you need to believe in God to reach heaven. According to Pali canon, Love could be enough.

But none of those are promising enlightenment as a result of developing love.

When indulging and developing attachment to some pleasant feeling and mental quality, seeing the possibility of its drawbacks and unpermanent nature can bring discomfort.

Yet, this is exactly what is needed to progress.

The path of Love, according to Buddha, could lead one to be reborn in heaven, but eventually he could end in hell.

In Abrahamic religions, atheist people full of love will go to hell.

Either way, more than love is needed.
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Mahabrahma
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Re: should I marry or be single?

Post by Mahabrahma »

There is nothing more than Love in this world. There are infinite diffident kinds of Love, and Buddhism as well as other religions try to teach us how to Love, but in Mahaparinirvana there is only Love. And when one reaches the Spiritual World and never returns to the Saha world, there is only Love. If you are truly turning to something other than Love for Spiritual progress, then part of you is still lost.
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Re: should I marry or be single?

Post by unknown »

Mahabrahma wrote: Sun Sep 27, 2020 10:59 am There is nothing more than Love in this world. There are infinite diffident kinds of Love, and Buddhism as well as other religions try to teach us how to Love, but in Mahaparinirvana there is only Love. And when one reaches the Spiritual World and never returns to the Saha world, there is only Love. If you are truly turning to something other than Love for Spiritual progress, then part of you is still lost.
Says who? What spiritual path is this?

According to Buddha, this world and any other lower world is full of suffering. And suffering is caused by craving to inpermanent things, including love. When this craving is removed, there comes the end of suffering. To do this, one needs to practice the Noble eightfold path.

In Parinibbana, there is nothing impermanent and conditioned, including love.
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Mahabrahma
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Re: should I marry or be single?

Post by Mahabrahma »

I don't want to talk about this with you if you're going to say things like there's no Love in Nirvana. You have some issues that I don't think I can clear up very easily, as you are clinging onto them. Bless you, and may you find your way.
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Re: should I marry or be single?

Post by SteRo »

confusedlayman wrote: Sat Sep 26, 2020 4:17 am
SteRo wrote: Fri Sep 25, 2020 10:46 pm
confusedlayman wrote: Sat Oct 05, 2019 12:40 am I dont think I can have xx.. so xx is not a matter for me. it dont bother me anymore. but I still have cravings. so basically should I marry? I dont have gf before or present as I know surely I will lose them one day and attachment to them is already seen as suffering so no need to buy excess stress for myself.

since xx is not a matter im wondering if I should marry? is there any reason to marry other than having xx? do I need kids to take care when im old and can't move or to do funeral rites ? or should I die alone as orphan dead body and be in body bag till they dispose me themselves? or should I need some companion? I dont want to have xx as I recently found im mentally incapable to intentionally have and being a celibate (I use my own hand sometimes) till now didn't bother me and my happiness when alone is highest than with others. I am confused .... I want to live solitude but how should I think of this?
Now, one year later, don't you laugh at this former stupidity?
Im still in delimma
So there's been no progress? Or has the quality of dilemma changed at least?
Exhaling अ and inhaling धीः amounts to བྷྲཱུཾ་བི་ཤྭ་བི་ཤུད་དྷེ
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