abstain from xx makes our skin or face lustful to others?

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confusedlayman
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abstain from xx makes our skin or face lustful to others?

Post by confusedlayman »

it seems many are saying that when they dont masturbrate or have xx, many opposite genders come and talk to them or get attractive...

so If I am attracted to someone suddenly one day even though im not lustful to them in previous days or months. can I assume they didn't have xx or masturbate for long so they look lustful suddenly?

is there correlation?
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Re: abstain from xx makes our skin or face lustful to others?

Post by Sam Vara »

confusedlayman wrote: Thu Mar 04, 2021 11:15 am it seems many are saying that when they dont masturbrate or have xx, many opposite genders come and talk to them or get attractive...

so If I am attracted to someone suddenly one day even though im not lustful to them in previous days or months. can I assume they didn't have xx or masturbate for long so they look lustful suddenly?

is there correlation?
No. Your finding someone attractive, whether or not this has happened before, has no relationship to what that person has or hasn't done. It's just your hormones.
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Re: abstain from xx makes our skin or face lustful to others?

Post by cappuccino »

however, you should not suppress lust


lust will only flow elsewhere


hence sort of perverted
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Re: abstain from xx makes our skin or face lustful to others?

Post by Inedible »

When I was a reading over the rules I missed the part about the word sex being too dirty to spell.

Also, I work in a hospital and they have a ringtone that goes off on the announcement system when there is a birth. Someone was just born. Welcome to Samsara.
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Re: abstain from xx makes our skin or face lustful to others?

Post by Alino »

I think there can be 3 causes:
1. It's true and we generate some attraction by hormones etc
2. It's just our perception
3. Mara try to tempt us

From personal experience I think it's some mix of 2 and 3.
We don't live Samsara, Samsara is living us...

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Re: abstain from xx makes our skin or face lustful to others?

Post by bhooooo »

I doubt the correlation you mentioned is present, however I do believe abstinence (or even moderate acts of pleasure) boosts one's vitality and energy thus increasing attractiveness. This effect is amplified by mandatory masks wearing and the worldwide climate of fear.
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Re: abstain from xx makes our skin or face lustful to others?

Post by SteRo »

confusedlayman wrote: Thu Mar 04, 2021 11:15 am it seems many are saying that when they dont masturbrate or have xx, many opposite genders come and talk to them or get attractive...

so If I am attracted to someone suddenly one day even though im not lustful to them in previous days or months. can I assume they didn't have xx or masturbate for long so they look lustful suddenly?

is there correlation?
Your perspective isn't appropriate because you approach from a perspective of greed and you are trying to rationalize greed by means of baseless fabrications.
Better to approach from a perspective of abhidhamma: in the cognitive process there may occur rootless cittas either as effect of wholesome kamma or as effect of unwholesome kamma. Those rootless resultants that are the effect of wholesome kamma have either desireable objects or extremely desireable objects. Here 'desireable' and 'extremely desireable' are objectively real. But the investigating cittas effected by wholesome kamma which belong to this same cognitive process are either with equanimity or with joy. See? There is no greed involved although the objects are called 'desireable' or 'extremely desireable'. However the cittas of the secondary cognitive processes succeeding this primary cognitive process may be either unwholesome, rooted in greed and accompanied by wrong view and delusion, or wholesome rooted in non-greed and non-delusion.

What does that mean? You are only attracted when secondary unwholesome cognitive process rooted in greed is involved. But when wholesome secondary cognitive process is involved you will either experience equanimity or joy upon seeing 'desireable' or 'extremely desireable' objects but you will not be attracted. So it is perfectly ok if 'desireable' or 'extremely desireable' objects arise because this is the effect of wholesome kamma but in the context of 'desireable' and 'extremely desireable' objects there is a difference between being attracted (unwholesome) and merely experiencing joy (wholesome).
The abhidhamma perspective is very useful, isn't it?
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Re: abstain from xx makes our skin or face lustful to others?

Post by bhooooo »

SteRo wrote: Fri Mar 05, 2021 6:04 am a perspective of greed
why greed out of all emotions?
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Re: abstain from xx makes our skin or face lustful to others?

Post by SteRo »

bhooooo wrote: Fri Mar 05, 2021 8:08 am
SteRo wrote: Fri Mar 05, 2021 6:04 am a perspective of greed
why greed out of all emotions?
There are the defilments greed, hatred and delusion. "Defilement" shouldn't be confused with "emotion" which isn't a doctrinal concept.
Cleared. αδόξαστος.
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Re: abstain from xx makes our skin or face lustful to others?

Post by bhooooo »

SteRo wrote: Fri Mar 05, 2021 8:14 am
bhooooo wrote: Fri Mar 05, 2021 8:08 am
SteRo wrote: Fri Mar 05, 2021 6:04 am a perspective of greed
why greed out of all emotions?
There are the defilments greed, hatred and delusion. "Defilement" shouldn't be confused with "emotion" which isn't a doctrinal concept.
thanks, it did not occur to me you were mentioning the three poisons. I was thinking greed was an interpretations of the wording used in the post!
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Re: abstain from xx makes our skin or face lustful to others?

Post by SteRo »

bhooooo wrote: Fri Mar 05, 2021 9:04 am
SteRo wrote: Fri Mar 05, 2021 8:14 am
bhooooo wrote: Fri Mar 05, 2021 8:08 am
why greed out of all emotions?
There are the defilments greed, hatred and delusion. "Defilement" shouldn't be confused with "emotion" which isn't a doctrinal concept.
thanks, it did not occur to me you were mentioning the three poisons.
Yes because I mentioned only one, namely greed, because it's the relevant here.
Cleared. αδόξαστος.
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Re: abstain from xx makes our skin or face lustful to others?

Post by confusedlayman »

SteRo wrote: Fri Mar 05, 2021 9:11 am
bhooooo wrote: Fri Mar 05, 2021 9:04 am
SteRo wrote: Fri Mar 05, 2021 8:14 am

There are the defilments greed, hatred and delusion. "Defilement" shouldn't be confused with "emotion" which isn't a doctrinal concept.
thanks, it did not occur to me you were mentioning the three poisons.
Yes because I mentioned only one, namely greed, because it's the relevant here.
thanks
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Re: abstain from xx makes our skin or face lustful to others?

Post by Pondera »

Inedible wrote: Thu Mar 04, 2021 6:31 pm When I was a reading over the rules I missed the part about the word sex being too dirty to spell.

Also, I work in a hospital and they have a ringtone that goes off on the announcement system when there is a birth. Someone was just born. Welcome to Samsara.
By “xx” I think he means porn and masturbation.
Like the three marks of conditioned existence, this world in itself is filthy, hostile, and crowded
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Re: abstain from xx makes our skin or face lustful to others?

Post by Inedible »

Pornography would be three X's, as XXX. A single x is usually an unknown value in math or science, to be solved for. We have to guess what xx means. In the text of the original post it refers more than once to having xx. Usually the references are to having sex and looking at pornography. So I still think my guess is correct.

And also, I disagree. A person who avoids sex and sexuality does not become more attractive. A person who tries to repress sex becomes obsessed with sex and starts to see this interest projected onto other people. It happens with anything when it is being repressed.
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confusedlayman
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Re: abstain from xx makes our skin or face lustful to others?

Post by confusedlayman »

Inedible wrote: Fri Mar 05, 2021 5:51 pm Pornography would be three X's, as XXX. A single x is usually an unknown value in math or science, to be solved for. We have to guess what xx means. In the text of the original post it refers more than once to having xx. Usually the references are to having sex and looking at pornography. So I still think my guess is correct.

And also, I disagree. A person who avoids sex and sexuality does not become more attractive. A person who tries to repress sex becomes obsessed with sex and starts to see this interest projected onto other people. It happens with anything when it is being repressed.
Ur guess right xx means everything in xxx
I may be slow learner but im at least learning...
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