Question having children

Balancing family life and the Dhamma, in pursuit of a happy lay life.
befriend
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Re: Question having children

Post by befriend »

Having children is very other cherishing attitude and not much time for self cherishing so I can see how that would be good at the end of people's lives ive heard many say their greatest accomplishment was having kids and then having grandkids and so forth. Yet if ones motivation is pure and you want to develop a non self cherishing attitude you could always volunteer one day a week at non profit charitable organization. I personally would not want children I think there are enough people in the world who are in need of help.
Take care of mindfulness and mindfulness will take care of you.
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mario92
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Re: Question having children

Post by mario92 »

Thanks all for the answers :anjali:
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Gwi
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Re: Question having children

Post by Gwi »

mario92 wrote: Wed Mar 24, 2021 5:46 pm Namaste i want to ask a question: is it wise to have children? My plan in life was to earn enough money to be able to live in monastery and ordain. But what if i dont succeed? Do child are needed when one had grown old in the body? What is your opinion?

Also i want to ask another question: is it wise to have non buddhist friends? Sometimes i think that if i would not live with my family i would not learn certain aspects of mundane life, i think this can apply to friends when they advise about certain things and may be of help.



It's okay to make friends with anyone,
but don't mix religion, as family matters for family.
Becoming a bhikkhu is certainly
highly recommended or getting married,
determined to have children who will
Become bhikkhu (don't have xxx while breastfeeding).

The shackles of a wife rvery strong.
Bahagia Tidak Harus Selalu Bersama

Dhammapadå 370
"Tinggalkanlah 5 (belantara) dan patahkan 5 (belenggu rendah),
Serta kembangkan 5 potensi (4 iddhipādā + 1 ussoḷhi).
Bhikkhu yang telah menaklukkan 5 kungkungan (belenggu tinggi),
Lebih layak disebut 'orang yang telah mengarungi air baih (saṃsārå)'."
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mario92
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Re: Question having children

Post by mario92 »

Gwi wrote: Thu Sep 16, 2021 12:55 pm
mario92 wrote: Wed Mar 24, 2021 5:46 pm Namaste i want to ask a question: is it wise to have children? My plan in life was to earn enough money to be able to live in monastery and ordain. But what if i dont succeed? Do child are needed when one had grown old in the body? What is your opinion?

Also i want to ask another question: is it wise to have non buddhist friends? Sometimes i think that if i would not live with my family i would not learn certain aspects of mundane life, i think this can apply to friends when they advise about certain things and may be of help.



It's okay to make friends with anyone,
but don't mix religion, as family matters for family.
Becoming a bhikkhu is certainly
highly recommended or getting married,
determined to have children who will
Become bhikkhu (don't have xxx while breastfeeding).

The shackles of a wife rvery strong.
Thank you, i dont have friends, i try to only have buddhist friend because only buddhist practice 5 precepts. I wont get married, i will try to abstain from sex activity for years, as much as i can. I hope i can get reborn with future buddhist or spiritual people (bodhisatta, future buddha disciple, buddha, paccekkabuddha, etc.)
Alino
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Re: Question having children

Post by Alino »

I consider it to be not compassionate to have childrens at this period of humain history, because of problems we will face in near future:

1. Global warming (+3/5° at the end of this century means realy big problems; for comparison when it was -4° colder that today it was frozen age, and England was under hundred meters of ice...)

2. End of resources (according to worldometer.com there is only 42years of oil left... World humain population before oil was about 2mlrd, in means that 6mlrd will eventually die without tetmo-industrial civilisation

If we combine 1 and 2 together - I would suggest not to have children's at all...

Imho
We don't live Samsara, Samsara is living us...

"Form, feelings, perceptions, formations, consciousness - don't care about us, we don't exist for them"
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cappuccino
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Re: Question having children

Post by cappuccino »

Alino wrote: Fri Sep 17, 2021 2:05 am there is only 42 years of oil left
there is only a few years of water left


at least in some major places
shuka
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Re: Question having children

Post by shuka »

SarathW wrote: Wed Mar 24, 2021 8:36 pm Do not have children expecting some thing back from them. Plan your own independent retirement. If you get anything back from your children, family and the society it is a bonus. Monk hood is not an alternative to a retirement plan.
:goodpost:
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cappuccino
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Re: Question having children

Post by cappuccino »

Alino wrote: Fri Sep 17, 2021 2:05 am End of resources
At the current rates of production, oil will run out in 53 years, natural gas in 54, and coal in 110.

zmescience
Alino
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Re: Question having children

Post by Alino »

cappuccino wrote: Fri Sep 17, 2021 3:07 pm
At the current rates of production, oil will run out in 53 years, natural gas in 54, and coal in 110.

zmescience
Yes, may be...

I watch here, in "ENERGY" section, with sources of information
https://www.worldometers.info/

Also here an intresting cartoon :)

We don't live Samsara, Samsara is living us...

"Form, feelings, perceptions, formations, consciousness - don't care about us, we don't exist for them"
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cappuccino
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Re: Question having children

Post by cappuccino »

Alino wrote: Fri Sep 17, 2021 3:18 pm I watch here,
https://www.worldometers.info/
thanks… amazing
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cappuccino
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Re: Question having children

Post by cappuccino »

Alino wrote: Fri Sep 17, 2021 3:18 pm Also here an interesting cartoon
uh oh
DiamondNgXZ
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Re: Question having children

Post by DiamondNgXZ »

mario92 wrote: Wed Mar 24, 2021 5:46 pm Namaste i want to ask a question: is it wise to have children? My plan in life was to earn enough money to be able to live in monastery and ordain. But what if i dont succeed? Do child are needed when one had grown old in the body? What is your opinion?

Also i want to ask another question: is it wise to have non buddhist friends? Sometimes i think that if i would not live with my family i would not learn certain aspects of mundane life, i think this can apply to friends when they advise about certain things and may be of help.
I will focus on the first part, what do you think is enough money to be able to live in a monastery and ordain?

If you have a monastery in your home country, enough money means the money to travel there and get white clothes, and request for ordination. Provided that monastery have enough monks to ordain you. If you need to travel to another country, then enough money just means a one way plane ticket, local travel fees. If you're planning to go from monastery to monastery to seek the teacher who clicks with you, the enough money is just a few more plane tickets.

Certainly the money involved is not a lot, if you're from countries with strong currency like USA, then it could just be a few months worth of salary.

In that case, why are you thinking super long term in adopting children? Those who wishes to ordain typically stay very far away from wanting to have children for it being a fetter from being ordained.

It's very likely that your current bank account savings should be sufficient for you to travel and ordain now or very soon as the international borders relax again. What are you waiting for?
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mario92
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Re: Question having children

Post by mario92 »

DiamondNgXZ wrote: Sat Sep 18, 2021 1:44 am
mario92 wrote: Wed Mar 24, 2021 5:46 pm Namaste i want to ask a question: is it wise to have children? My plan in life was to earn enough money to be able to live in monastery and ordain. But what if i dont succeed? Do child are needed when one had grown old in the body? What is your opinion?

Also i want to ask another question: is it wise to have non buddhist friends? Sometimes i think that if i would not live with my family i would not learn certain aspects of mundane life, i think this can apply to friends when they advise about certain things and may be of help.
I will focus on the first part, what do you think is enough money to be able to live in a monastery and ordain?

If you have a monastery in your home country, enough money means the money to travel there and get white clothes, and request for ordination. Provided that monastery have enough monks to ordain you. If you need to travel to another country, then enough money just means a one way plane ticket, local travel fees. If you're planning to go from monastery to monastery to seek the teacher who clicks with you, the enough money is just a few more plane tickets.

Certainly the money involved is not a lot, if you're from countries with strong currency like USA, then it could just be a few months worth of salary.

In that case, why are you thinking super long term in adopting children? Those who wishes to ordain typically stay very far away from wanting to have children for it being a fetter from being ordained.

It's very likely that your current bank account savings should be sufficient for you to travel and ordain now or very soon as the international borders relax again. What are you waiting for?
Hello thanks for answering, I live in Mexico so i earn very little $250 dlls per month, i would like to ordain in Thailand, but i have many obstacles one is money, i have to get the thai visa, and also plane ticket which is expensive, also i need money to travel to renew the visa, and the money to mantain myself while i am there, etc. I am far away from having children, also far away from a relationship, i decided to remain celibate as much time i can. I will see what happens.
SteRo
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Re: Question having children

Post by SteRo »

mario92 wrote: Wed Mar 24, 2021 5:46 pm Namaste i want to ask a question: is it wise to have children?
Don't know. Are animals wise?
mario92 wrote: Wed Mar 24, 2021 5:46 pm My plan in life was to earn enough money to be able to live in monastery and ordain. But what if i dont succeed? Do child are needed when one had grown old in the body? What is your opinion?
There are countries in the world where it is wise to have children work for you when you are old.
mario92 wrote: Wed Mar 24, 2021 5:46 pm Also i want to ask another question: is it wise to have non buddhist friends? Sometimes i think that if i would not live with my family i would not learn certain aspects of mundane life, i think this can apply to friends when they advise about certain things and may be of help.
Is it wise to have friends at all? buddhist or non-buddhist? Who knows? :shrug:
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Observing
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Re: Question having children

Post by Observing »

I have one child. Is it wise to have children? I don't really know how to answer that for everyone? I know that I enjoy having a child and don't ever regret that I do.
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