Is your spouse a Buddhist? Would you date a Buddhist only? POLL

Balancing family life and the Dhamma, in pursuit of a happy lay life.

Is your spouse (or significant other - SO) a Buddhist?

YES, my SO is Buddhist and I chose/would prefer a Buddhist SO only.
5
22%
YES, my SO is Buddhist but I didn't look specifically for a Buddhist SO, they just happened to be a Buddhist.
2
9%
NO, my SO isn't Buddhist but they are neither pro nor anti-Buddhism.
6
26%
NO, my SO isn't Buddhist and they don't believe in Buddhism as such but they are somewhat ok with parts of it.
10
43%
NO, my SO isn't Buddhist and we disagree/fight because our personal beliefs clash sometimes.
0
No votes
 
Total votes: 23

shuka
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Is your spouse a Buddhist? Would you date a Buddhist only? POLL

Post by shuka »

I was thinking about marriage(or a long-term living together partnership).

The Buddha talks about ideal spousal relations in the Sigalovada and other suttas.

If your SO isn't a Buddhist but practices a different faith, would you discuss these Suttas with them? (while they aren't obliged to listen to and practice what the Buddha teaches, some persons might agree to incorporate parts of the Buddha's teachings if those make sense to them).

I guess it's nicer to live with a Buddhist spouse rather than choosing to live with someone who has different views (agnostics or moderate atheists might be sorta ok but I wouldn't want to live with most theists, fundies or guys committed strongly to some other faith/ideology - they are definitely incompatible, IMO), no?

I don't know any Buddhists in real life, so what's the chance of me finding a Buddhist SO? Should I keep looking for a Buddhist SO? Is this a realistic expectation? Will I end up alone if I keep waiting for a Buddhist SO?

Pl vote and discuss your views and experiences.
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Sam Vara
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Re: Is your spouse a Buddhist? Would you date a Buddhist only? POLL

Post by Sam Vara »

My spouse is a Christian priest. Yes, we sometimes discuss suttas, and conversely issues to do with Christianity, but - married life being what it is - we are more inclined to discuss who ran up this big Barclaycard bill, whether our daughter can have her ears pierced, and whether the dog is allowed on the sofa.
I guess it's nicer to live with a Buddhist spouse rather than choosing to live with someone who has different views (agnostics or moderate atheists might be sorta ok but I wouldn't want to live with most theists, fundies or guys committed strongly to some other faith/ideology - they are definitely incompatible, IMO), no?
No, I don't agree. It's wonderful to have a wife who can absolve me of all sins!
I don't know any Buddhists in real life, so what's the chance of me finding a Buddhist SO? Should I keep looking for a Buddhist SO? Is this a realistic expectation? Will I end up alone if I keep waiting for a Buddhist SO?
I guess it depends on where you live. Thailand would be easier than Utah, no? And it depends on your kamma. Either way, I hope you find someone suitable and live in love and happiness! :anjali:
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Dhamma Chameleon
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Re: Is your spouse a Buddhist? Would you date a Buddhist only? POLL

Post by Dhamma Chameleon »

I'm not in a relationship so there is no option for me.

But I would date a non-Buddhist. There are many people living life broadly in accordance with the dhamma without necessarily knowing or caring about Buddhism. Compassion, wisdom and harmlessness are universal human values.
sphairos
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Re: Is your spouse a Buddhist? Would you date a Buddhist only? POLL

Post by sphairos »

I would date only a Buddha.
How good and wonderful are your days,
How true are your ways?
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Sam Vara
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Re: Is your spouse a Buddhist? Would you date a Buddhist only? POLL

Post by Sam Vara »

sphairos wrote: Thu Oct 07, 2021 2:21 pm I would date only a Buddha.
Would they have to be a Samma-SamBuddha?
Spiny Norman
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Re: Is your spouse a Buddhist? Would you date a Buddhist only? POLL

Post by Spiny Norman »

sphairos wrote: Thu Oct 07, 2021 2:21 pm I would date only a Buddha.
I wonder if they would date you. :tongue:
Buddha save me from new-agers!
Mr. Seek
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Re: Is your spouse a Buddhist? Would you date a Buddhist only? POLL

Post by Mr. Seek »

I'd rather go with a deva or two, if I had to pick.

Otherwise, brahmachari, no question about it.
Pulsar
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Re: Is your spouse a Buddhist? Would you date a Buddhist only? POLL

Post by Pulsar »

Mr. Seek wrote
I'd rather go with a deva or two, if I had to pick.
Ah you mean you would prefer two wives, if they happened to be divine?
Good choice, why settle for one? these gals are divine.
Good luck with the divine creatures! :candle:
shuka
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Re: Is your spouse a Buddhist? Would you date a Buddhist only? POLL

Post by shuka »

Sam Vara wrote: Thu Oct 07, 2021 2:14 pm My spouse is a Christian priest. Yes, we sometimes discuss suttas, and conversely issues to do with Christianity, but - married life being what it is - we are more inclined to discuss who ran up this big Barclaycard bill, whether our daughter can have her ears pierced, and whether the dog is allowed on the sofa.
That's nice.
No, I don't agree. It's wonderful to have a wife who can absolve me of all sins!
:rofl:
I guess it depends on where you live. Thailand would be easier than Utah, no? And it depends on your kamma.
Yes and I wish I could move to a place where more Buddhists live..but I can't due many reasons. I agree that Kamma could be one of the deciding factors.
Either way, I hope you find someone suitable and live in love and happiness! :anjali:
Thank you. :anjali:
shuka
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Re: Is your spouse a Buddhist? Would you date a Buddhist only? POLL

Post by shuka »

Dhamma Chameleon wrote: Thu Oct 07, 2021 2:17 pm I'm not in a relationship so there is no option for me.
Sorry, I should have included more options. Not able to edit the poll now.
But I would date a non-Buddhist. There are many people living life broadly in accordance with the dhamma without necessarily knowing or caring about Buddhism. Compassion, wisdom and harmlessness are universal human values.
That's true.

I was thinking about extreme scenarios - what if ones spouse refuses to accept the concept of Nibbana or an anti-Buddhist spouse might mischaracterize the Buddha's teachings as the words of Devil or someone believing rival Indian traditions might claim that the teachings were taught to demons to delude them. Outside Buddhist traditions, there is a higher chance of finding hostile perspectives on Dhamma.
Mr. Seek
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Re: Is your spouse a Buddhist? Would you date a Buddhist only? POLL

Post by Mr. Seek »

Also, you're assuming that Buddhists believe and practice the same thing. That's not the case, as with all other religions. Even if you find a Buddhist SO, there's always the chance that she could be from or eventually enter a different tradition or sect than you, and then practice, study, and believe in different things. Then, it wouldn't matter that she's Buddhist.
un8-
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Re: Is your spouse a Buddhist? Would you date a Buddhist only? POLL

Post by un8- »

My spouse agrees with many concepts of Buddhism, and likes minimalism, but I doubt she would give up sensual desires, specifically sports, willingly. Probably certain foods too.
There is only one battle that could be won, and that is the battle against the 3 poisons. Any other battle is a guaranteed loss because you're going to die either way.
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Re: Is your spouse a Buddhist? Would you date a Buddhist only? POLL

Post by TRobinson465 »

I would not restrict myself to dating only Buddhists, but my SO must be okay with me being Buddhist and religious.
"Do not have blind faith, but also no blind criticism" - the 14th Dalai Lama

"The Blessed One has set in motion the unexcelled Wheel of Dhamma that cannot be stopped by brahmins, devas, Maras, Brahmas or anyone in the cosmos." -Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta
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Ceisiwr
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Re: Is your spouse a Buddhist? Would you date a Buddhist only? POLL

Post by Ceisiwr »

If I had a partner it would be great if they were a Buddhist but the main thing would be that they accepted me as one and were a good person.
“Knowing that this body is just like foam,
understanding it has the nature of a mirage,
cutting off Māra’s flower-tipped arrows,
one should go beyond the King of Death’s sight.”
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Re: Is your spouse a Buddhist? Would you date a Buddhist only? POLL

Post by SarathW »

In my experience, if you are a Buddhist, having a Buddhist partner will make your practice easier and fewer disputes in relation to children.
However, if you have an understanding intelligent partner, this may not be necessary.
For this, you have to test the IQ of your partner, so it is too much trouble in my opinion.
In all the cases I know, the non-Buddhist marriages end up being the Buddhist converted to another religion. (Christian or Islam)
One reason perhaps the Buddhists are less frantic about their religion.
However, I found Hindus are more open-minded because they believe in many gods. I think they believe Buddha and Jesus are reincarnations of a god.
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”
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