A Problem I had, but couldn't figure out

The cultivation of calm or tranquility and the development of concentration
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Ionbuddy
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A Problem I had, but couldn't figure out

Post by Ionbuddy »

At one point I was doing breath meditation for an hour a day, but the longer I did this, the more an insane amount of uncontrollable internal energy I felt. I kept getting more cravings, and there was a subtle sabotaging to my metta/mudita practice. My behavior had gotten obnoxious to some people. I must have done something wrong.

But then again I was trying to come off a medication I had been on for years, with supervision of my psychiatrist of course. I decided I'd just go back on it because bipolar disorder has shown up in my family on my dad's side and I just wasn't going to sleep without it.

Anyways, I decided I'd lay off until I could figure out what went wrong.
I still have defilements.
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cappuccino
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Re: A Problem I had, but couldn't figure out

Post by cappuccino »

bipolar is an intense energy


when it moves through aversion, that's depression


when it moves through delusion, that's paranoia


when it moves through lust, that's problematic
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cappuccino
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Re: A Problem I had, but couldn't figure out

Post by cappuccino »

just take medication

:shrug:
Alino
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Re: A Problem I had, but couldn't figure out

Post by Alino »

Develop and practice good moral behaviour of body speech and mind, and dont take intoxicants...

🙏
We don't live Samsara, Samsara is living us...

"Form, feelings, perceptions, formations, consciousness - don't care about us, we don't exist for them"
Ionbuddy
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Re: A Problem I had, but couldn't figure out

Post by Ionbuddy »

Alino wrote: Tue Jan 12, 2021 5:52 am Develop and practice good moral behaviour of body speech and mind, and dont take intoxicants...

🙏
Sounds good! Um, does junk food count as an intoxicant? Haha.
cappuccino wrote: Tue Jan 12, 2021 5:49 am just take medication

:shrug:
:hug:
I still have defilements.
Inedible
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Re: A Problem I had, but couldn't figure out

Post by Inedible »

This seems like more of an ask for help in person kind of thing. But something based on meridians would be helpful. TCM doesn't separate working on thoughts and emotions from working on the body. Grounding and centering are important skills.
Nobodyisspecial
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Re: A Problem I had, but couldn't figure out

Post by Nobodyisspecial »

Dear buddy,

1) just take the medication. You will sleep. You will get along with other people and not be obnoxious if you take the medication. I take medication for the same condition. I don't function without it and it does not sound like you do either.

2) you are doing great with an hour of meditation a day. It sounds like you are unaware of elevated consciousness that comes from breath meditation for that much time. It will make you manic buddy. Meditation is fun right? I think so but too much can bring insane energy...right?

3) don't listen to people that don't believe in medicine. Psychiatry is medicine. You can't be my friend if you don't believe in psychiatry because I don't want your advice then.... Make sense?

4) there is many people that don't think the mentally ill can hit jhana on medication. They are all wrong. Yet spiritual practices can lead to triggering mental health crisis. There are many wise and deep and experienced authors that support this view. Trust me on this I have read a ton.

5) people without mental illness cannot advise the mentally ill unless they are very experienced experts. Everyone one has free advice and it's worth nothing. The dhamma remains priceless without a price tag though. Unless they have walked miles in your shoes they probably can't tell you how to live your life better than you. Most severely mentally ill remain low functioning. Most severely mentally ill remain lost to recovery. The enlightenment of the dhamma is healing to regain our full sanity, yet medication might remain necessary.
SarathW
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Re: A Problem I had, but couldn't figure out

Post by SarathW »

Ionbuddy wrote: Tue Jan 12, 2021 7:24 am
Alino wrote: Tue Jan 12, 2021 5:52 am Develop and practice good moral behaviour of body speech and mind, and dont take intoxicants...

🙏
Sounds good! Um, does junk food count as an intoxicant? Haha.
cappuccino wrote: Tue Jan 12, 2021 5:49 am just take medication

:shrug:
:hug:
I think junk food is worse than intoxicants.
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”
befriend
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Re: A Problem I had, but couldn't figure out

Post by befriend »

I know an Ajahn who said concentration meditation i.e. Intense Samatha like focusing on one object for extended durations is not healthy for people with mental illness. I also have bi polar I meditated on the feeling of my shirt touching my skin for 4 hours one day and then started hearing voices and went to a hospital.
Take care of mindfulness and mindfulness will take care of you.
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cappuccino
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Re: A Problem I had, but couldn't figure out

Post by cappuccino »

Ionbuddy wrote: Tue Jan 12, 2021 7:24 am does junk food count as an intoxicant?
not unless it is
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Akashad
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Re: A Problem I had, but couldn't figure out

Post by Akashad »

Anapanasati bhavana is an Amplifier.

Even Tina Rassmussen one of Ven.Pa Auk Sayadaws students said be careful what you think when you are practicing Anapanasati because whatever you engage in gets amplified.

You have to understand Samadhi has the ability to develop concentration to the point that you can bend the elements.That is a Lot of Power to alter physical or materiality such as telekinesis or walking through walls.So imagine more subtle things like "thoughts".It can amplify thoughts to extreme levels.

This is why when I practice Anapanasati I completely remove 5 sense pleasures so:

No TV
No music
No YouTube
No Entertainments
No junk food
I eat maybe once or twice a day
Celibacy
Not even romance Not even like the purest love for the opposite sex not even that.Samadhi practice leads to the Realm of the Brahmas.Their not interested in even the most platonic relationship cause they can clearly see an opening to the lower realms through that.
If you leave any door open while practicing anapanasati the hindrances will come back with a Vegence.
Hindrances are looking for an opening.
Atleast if you remove major blocks like that they cant do much.

Once you internally secure yourself you will notice EXTERNAL THINGS OR OTHER PEOPLE attacking you.

Your mind internally might be peaceful but externally you'll notice a circus of reactions.People just trying to argue or bicker with you.

A lot of people get attracted to your light or high vibration both humans and non humans...they will be drawn to you try to feed off your energy like energy vampires.This is if your in the world.not secluded somewhere.A lot of arguments etc a lot of chatter.

You basically stand out.Like your energy stands out when you practice samadhi.People or Other forces like Mara will actively try to disrupt that.Especially those who have a much lower negative energy.Mara will influence other people to bother you.

This is why people who practice meditation do so in seclusion it removes that risk further.

Mara does not care about anyone who is not near Jhana.
He really doesn't.People who say people are battling Mara when they are an alcoholic or sex addict.

MARA ISNT EVEN THERE.

Your doing the work for him.He is only around people who are actively trying to practice Jhana as they are the ones that he risks escaping his clutches.

The only way you can get through this is work with your hindrances whatever comes up whoever attacks you.Stay with the Meditation Object.Protect your meditation Object.

However since you mentioned you have bipolar disorder,please seek professional medical attention first.Work with physical aspects of dhamma first like Dana and Merit Making.🙏
Joe.c
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Re: A Problem I had, but couldn't figure out

Post by Joe.c »

Akashad wrote: Sun May 22, 2022 12:52 am Anapanasati bhavana is an Amplifier. ...
Sorry to tell, i think this is delusional. When you are at peace inside, external world also will be at peace. No body with bad intention will dare to come near you.

If you reach arahant with psychic power, mara can't even match you. But this is a BIG IF that you have reached Arahant level.
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