Radix wrote: ↑Wed May 03, 2023 3:35 pm
Yes, you're risking your focus on your own goals.
Do those people like you for you, or are they ever so subtly trying to convert you to their religion? Mind you, you are there literally in a one vs. all situation.
It's a good observation. I think once I was able to look past the murkiness of my desire-driven intentions, this is what came up next. It's certainly a detour from the goal but uncertain of potential benefits or hinderances as a result of going that route. I don't know them well enough to determine too much about them. I don't get the immediate sense they care much at all about pushing their beliefs but more about living virtuously.
Of course, it's also possible to associate with others in some kind of religious/spiritual context even when those other people belong to different religions/spiritualities than oneself. But for this, one needs to be quite superficial about one's own and/or others' religion/spirituality.
I'm not sure I'd go with superficial. Maybe honest and open instead. It kind of reminds me of the confusingness of a first date. You want to present the appealing side of you but you have baggage too and while it isn't something planned on being hidden or glossed over, of all the things to share on that first meeting, is the baggage the first to bring up?
I think that rather than interacting with others based on religious/spiritual interests, it might be better to focus on practical things that are not religiously/spiritually specific. Gardening, mountainhiking, sports, ...
It wasn't my intention to make the focus on interacting with others based on religion. Probably due to the poorly framed question. I think more accurately the question is about my concern for my own still shaky progress in this practice being muddled through making some in-person new friends.
The answer's more clear to me now, albeit a bit nuanced depending on individual circumstances. I think from what I've read, don't associate with fools, associate with the wise. Be weary of my own stability in my practice and what fuels my intentions. And if I can't determine those things for myself, best to avoid distractions until I can.
Just as a bird, wherever it goes, flies with its wings as its only burden; so too is he content with a set of robes to provide for his body and almsfood to provide for his hunger. Wherever he goes, he takes only his barest necessities along. This is how a monk is content.(DN11)