Relationships? - No thanks!

Balancing family life and the Dhamma, in pursuit of a happy lay life.
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Sam Vara
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Re: Relationships? - No thanks!

Post by Sam Vara »

confusedlayman wrote: Fri Jun 02, 2023 4:15 pm I am not agaisnt any group or something.. i am just seeing some of observations and telling you. I may be partially wrong too. I think I am talking off topic...
Yes, please could people return to topic. :thanks:
Bundokji
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Re: Relationships? - No thanks!

Post by Bundokji »

Kai wrote: Fri Dec 30, 2022 11:36 pm One of those so-called "friends" recently voiced his concern about me alienating myself from everyone. I just had to laugh out loud at that. When I pointed out that my Buddhist practice is far more satisfying & rewarding than watching TV, playing some stupid games or getting drunk in the pub on several occasions a week, he just looked at me with a blank expression on his face which immediately reminded me of DhP v. 61. It says, "there is no fellowship with fools"! - Well, I'll continue on my path firmly on my own .... !!!
You could avoid encountering such unpleasant situations by explaining your actions in a more mundane ways to non-Buddhists. For example, you could explain that you tend to enjoy solitude more than company, or that it happened that what interests you is of no obvious social utility.

Solitude, as physical isolation, or avoiding relationship is not a sure sign of wisdom.
"But how do you live alone and extol the virtues of living alone?"

"Lord, alone I enter the village for alms, alone I return, alone I sit withdrawn [in meditation], alone I do walking meditation. That is how I live alone and extol the virtues of living alone."

"There is that way of living alone, Elder. I don't say that there isn't. Still, listen well to how your living alone is perfected in its details, and pay close attention. I will speak."

"As you say, lord," Ven. Elder responded.

The Blessed One said: "And how is living alone perfected in its details? There is the case where whatever is past is abandoned, whatever is future is relinquished, and any passion & desire with regard to states of being attained in the present is well subdued. That is how living alone is perfected in its details."

That is what the Blessed One said. Having said it, the One Well-gone further said this:

"All-conquering,
all-knowing, intelligent;
with regard to all things,
unadhering;
all-abandoning,
released in the ending of craving:
him I call
a man who lives
alone."
And the Blessed One addressed the bhikkhus, saying: "Behold now, bhikkhus, I exhort you: All compounded things are subject to vanish. Strive with earnestness!"

This was the last word of the Tathagata.
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Radix
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Re: Relationships? - No thanks!

Post by Radix »

Kai wrote: Fri Dec 30, 2022 11:36 pm Well, I'll continue on my path firmly on my own .... !!!
Who is paying your bills, and at what cost?
Western Buddhism is the perfect ideological supplement to rabid consumerist capitalism.
Glenn Wallis
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jwstone
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Re: Relationships? - No thanks!

Post by jwstone »

I literally had to find my husband in another country. lol He moved here to the USA. I tried finding a partner in the USA, but it was basically hopeless for me. So, if you REALLY want to find someone, another country is always an option. Always more fish in the sea as the saying goes, ha!
Dhammaf0ll0wer
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Re: Relationships? - No thanks!

Post by Dhammaf0ll0wer »

I completely relate to your situation!
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