Death and Meditation

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fenbenlabdonatas72
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Death and Meditation

Post by fenbenlabdonatas72 »

Hello all.

I need a bit of help. My grandmother just passed away recently and I'm going through a grieving time right now. I've been trying to remain positive, knowing that my grandmother is now re-entering the khammic cycle and has moved on from her physical state of suffering in this life. However, it's still a bit difficult to deal with mentally and emotionally and especially spiritually. I was wondering when I go to meditation today and over the next few weeks, what should I be meditating about? Is there something to focus on that will help me to not be attached to the idea of her death? I know that sometimes monks even meditate inside of crematories to better understand death. Can anyone give some suggestions?
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Dhamma Chameleon
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Re: Death and Meditation

Post by Dhamma Chameleon »

I'm sorry for your loss. It is normal and appropriate to grieve. I hope you can be kind to yourself and allow this natural process to happen.

In meditation you can make your experience of grief the object. Observe how it feels and where in the body. Choose areas to zoom in on. The dukkha will be clear to see, try to also notice change and impermanence.

If you would like to focus on something lighter, you can do metta meditation.
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confusedlayman
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Re: Death and Meditation

Post by confusedlayman »

Whenever u eat food before eating when plate is on the floor.. dedicate it to recrntly departed relative deities and hungry ghost always..
I may be slow learner but im at least learning...
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bkmudita
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Re: Death and Meditation

Post by bkmudita »

fenbenlabdonatas72 wrote: Wed May 18, 2022 2:20 pm Hello all.

I need a bit of help. My grandmother just passed away recently and I'm going through a grieving time right now. I've been trying to remain positive, knowing that my grandmother is now re-entering the khammic cycle and has moved on from her physical state of suffering in this life. However, it's still a bit difficult to deal with mentally and emotionally and especially spiritually. I was wondering when I go to meditation today and over the next few weeks, what should I be meditating about? Is there something to focus on that will help me to not be attached to the idea of her death? I know that sometimes monks even meditate inside of crematories to better understand death. Can anyone give some suggestions?
I'm sorry for your loss! It's a good idea to give yourself ample time to reflect life and death. Could be an opportunity for your spiritual growth as well. Indeed there are many things to meditate on in Buddhism tradition. For example, you can meditate on impermanence, on the suffering nature of life. You can do loving kindness meditation to spread your Love and kindness to your grandma, and all beings, to wish them happy in this life and next life. You can always talk to some monks in your local areas and I'm sure he will give you more suggestions, blessings and so on. Besides meditation, you can also do some extra readings on related topics, some physical activities such as yoga or other breathing exercises can also lighten your day. I'm sure your grandma always want you to be happy. So try to reach out and be happy as well!
Bundokji
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Re: Death and Meditation

Post by Bundokji »

fenbenlabdonatas72 wrote: Wed May 18, 2022 2:20 pm Hello all.

I need a bit of help. My grandmother just passed away recently and I'm going through a grieving time right now. I've been trying to remain positive, knowing that my grandmother is now re-entering the khammic cycle and has moved on from her physical state of suffering in this life. However, it's still a bit difficult to deal with mentally and emotionally and especially spiritually. I was wondering when I go to meditation today and over the next few weeks, what should I be meditating about? Is there something to focus on that will help me to not be attached to the idea of her death? I know that sometimes monks even meditate inside of crematories to better understand death. Can anyone give some suggestions?
If the aim of your contemplation of death is to help you overcome your grief, then try to ponder on what aspects she might have died, and what aspects she is still in the world. For example, she is still in the world in the sense that you can still talk about her, or memories of conversations with her, or watching her photos, or even visiting her grave. This could help you see that she died in a very specific sense, which is the elimination of the possibility of having a physical and interactive contact with her. Such possibility can be eliminated or limited through other means, such as living abroad, or living in a prison.
And the Blessed One addressed the bhikkhus, saying: "Behold now, bhikkhus, I exhort you: All compounded things are subject to vanish. Strive with earnestness!"

This was the last word of the Tathagata.
sunnat
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Re: Death and Meditation

Post by sunnat »

In response to a similar question Ajahn Brahms gave advice that is helpful to me, namely be grateful to have known her. Also to be kind to the grieving inside and be gentle and kind to oneself. Instead of grieving I find myself being happy to have known the person.
Strive4Karuna
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Re: Death and Meditation

Post by Strive4Karuna »

fenbenlabdonatas72 wrote: Wed May 18, 2022 2:20 pm Hello all.

I need a bit of help. My grandmother just passed away recently and I'm going through a grieving time right now. I've been trying to remain positive, knowing that my grandmother is now re-entering the khammic cycle and has moved on from her physical state of suffering in this life. However, it's still a bit difficult to deal with mentally and emotionally and especially spiritually. I was wondering when I go to meditation today and over the next few weeks, what should I be meditating about? Is there something to focus on that will help me to not be attached to the idea of her death? I know that sometimes monks even meditate inside of crematories to better understand death. Can anyone give some suggestions?
If it were me

I would sit with that feeling. The flower of “death” will water, and bloom. (If you don’t know what that is, impermanence, conditionality, death pretty much)

Anyways, if you sit with the feeling long enough you will see it come to an end, just be mindful when it happens.
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