I wish I told my father i hate him before he died

Balancing family life and the Dhamma, in pursuit of a happy lay life.
Canonmp280
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I wish I told my father i hate him before he died

Post by Canonmp280 »

My father is an asshole, he’s a rich man but he didnt write any will and we didn’t get most money. He never teach mom about investing those money and she put in some suspicious investment which end costly. My dad is a prick and he left my mom suffering and strugling in her old days.

I’m not letting off the hook that easy just because he died.
This hatred will live on, i will pass this hatred to my newborn son and told him that he could live a better life if not because of his useless granddad.

I hate him with all my life, sometimes i wish I’m the one that killed him. It’s been 6 years i havent go to his grave, I’m afraid if i go there i will just spit on it. Everytime i pray in the temple, i never once said his name. He’s dead but my hatred lives on
SarathW
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Re: I wish I told my father i hate him before he died

Post by SarathW »

Why can't make your own wealth and pass it on to your son?
There is no obligation for your father to pass his wealth to you except look-after you until you are legally an adult.
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”
User13866
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Re: I wish I told my father i hate him before he died

Post by User13866 »

Did he not give you your body and or take care of you when you was a baby like a cripple, unable to walk or talk? That doesn't count for you?
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rekoW
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Re: I wish I told my father i hate him before he died

Post by rekoW »

SarathW wrote: Tue Sep 06, 2022 4:03 am There is no obligation for your father to pass his wealth to you...
Many western country have law for children to contest & automcatically obtain proportion of Will. May be this law not exist in prmitive 2nd & 3rd world bankrupt country of supersticios people.
User13866
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Re: I wish I told my father i hate him before he died

Post by User13866 »

Money management is not easy for everyone and family relations are complicated... I don't have any friends who have successfully inhereted money, in my mid 30s, everybody does their own thing.

I've seen plenty of people mismanage money, doesn't necessarily mean they are all bad..
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rekoW
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Re: I wish I told my father i hate him before he died

Post by rekoW »

Canonmp280 wrote: Tue Sep 06, 2022 3:46 am My father is an asshole... He’s dead but my hatred lives on
He must have been an asshole if u heat him so much. If he was real asshole then he was. If so, not need to hate. Asshoel is asshloe. Each time u go to toilet do u hate your asshoel? If no, don't need to hate father asshole.
Last edited by rekoW on Tue Sep 06, 2022 4:15 am, edited 1 time in total.
Canonmp280
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Re: I wish I told my father i hate him before he died

Post by Canonmp280 »

User13866 wrote: Tue Sep 06, 2022 4:06 am Did he not give you your body and or take care of you when you was a baby like a cripple, unable to walk or talk? That doesn't count for you?
Lmao i literally told you its abou my mom who struggling to raise me, i already work my ass off , dont you worry, i even study investing lesson and teach my wife about money. Not like that deadbeat asshole who literally using death as excuse to escape from his responsibility lol
SarathW
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Re: I wish I told my father i hate him before he died

Post by SarathW »

rekoW wrote: Tue Sep 06, 2022 4:08 am
SarathW wrote: Tue Sep 06, 2022 4:03 am There is no obligation for your father to pass his wealth to you...
Many western country have law for children to contest & automcatically obtain proportion of Will. May be this law not exist in prmitive 2nd & 3rd world bankrupt country of supersticios people.
In Western countries you can write your wealth to anyone you wish.
However if you are disable, I believe you can contest it.

Bankrupt Sri Lanka? Don't start this topic with me. :D
Last edited by SarathW on Tue Sep 06, 2022 4:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”
User13866
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Re: I wish I told my father i hate him before he died

Post by User13866 »

Either way hatred is not good, one should be ashamed of it, it is particularly shameless to display one's bad qualities such as anger to parents, it's a disappointment to them and a sad thing to wit having been involved in creating that animosity which is now like a cancer assailing them with unpleasant speech and destroying their offspring. It's a testament to everyone's failure.
Last edited by User13866 on Tue Sep 06, 2022 4:20 am, edited 6 times in total.
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rekoW
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Re: I wish I told my father i hate him before he died

Post by rekoW »

SarathW wrote: Tue Sep 06, 2022 4:15 am In Western countries you can write your wealth to anyone you wish.
Can write but ignored children can automatically contest & get portion. Is law to stop court fights.
Canonmp280
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Re: I wish I told my father i hate him before he died

Post by Canonmp280 »

SarathW wrote: Tue Sep 06, 2022 4:03 am Why can't make your own wealth and pass it on to your son?
There is no obligation for your father to pass his wealth to you except look-after you until you are legally an adult.
Yeah i already worked and my goal is to become a better father than my mom dead husband. Dont worry. The problem is he above average rich and in the end my mom struggling to raise me, cmon now, i dont need him helping in my life, but at least responsible to your own wife?

She took care of him in the deathbed, looking back i wish i was the one that unplug the life support cable
SarathW
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Re: I wish I told my father i hate him before he died

Post by SarathW »

rekoW wrote: Tue Sep 06, 2022 4:16 am
SarathW wrote: Tue Sep 06, 2022 4:15 am In Western countries you can write your wealth to anyone you wish.
Can write but ignored children can automatically contest & get portion.
I don't believe there is automatic entitlement.
Yes you can contest it.
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”
Canonmp280
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Re: I wish I told my father i hate him before he died

Post by Canonmp280 »

User13866 wrote: Tue Sep 06, 2022 4:16 am Either way hatred is not good, one should be ashamed of it, it is particularly shameless to display one's bad qualities such as anger to parents, it's a disappointment to them and a sad thing to wit having been involved in creating that animosity which is now like a cancer attacking oneself. It's a testament to everyone's failure.
Now the only one for me to stop the hatred is let go, basically accepting that he was not my father. He was just a faceless stranger in the crowd of human sea that body I used to come to his world. He doesn’t own me a thing, and I don’t owe him anything. No need to remember face, or name. No need to acknowledge or pray to him. Thats when my anger stop, literally can’t even think about him. No good memory, or maybe the anger blocks all of it idk
SarathW
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Re: I wish I told my father i hate him before he died

Post by SarathW »

Canonmp280 wrote: Tue Sep 06, 2022 4:18 am
SarathW wrote: Tue Sep 06, 2022 4:03 am Why can't make your own wealth and pass it on to your son?
There is no obligation for your father to pass his wealth to you except look-after you until you are legally an adult.
Yeah i already worked and my goal is to become a better father than my mom dead husband. Dont worry. The problem is he above average rich and in the end my mom struggling to raise me, cmon now, i dont need him helping in my life, but at least responsible to your own wife?

She took care of him in the deathbed, looking back i wish i was the one that unplug the life support cable
It is great that you are going to be a good man.
If you have lot of hatred in you (even for your enemy) you can't be a that great man but you will end up like your dad at the end.
Extend Metta to your dad. We all have problems.
May be your father had a problem only he knew what it was. May be your grand dad mistreated him.
:shrug:
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”
Canonmp280
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2022 3:34 am

Re: I wish I told my father i hate him before he died

Post by Canonmp280 »

rekoW wrote: Tue Sep 06, 2022 4:13 am
Canonmp280 wrote: Tue Sep 06, 2022 3:46 am My father is an asshole... He’s dead but my hatred lives on
He must have been an asshole if u heat him so much. If he was real asshole then he was. If so, not need to hate. Asshoel is asshloe. Each time u go to toilet do u hate your asshoel? If no, don't need to hate father asshole.
True i dont hate my asshole, but i hate my dead father.
So he is worse than asshole, thanks for the light
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