masturbation what's wrong?

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Gwi
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Re: problem with masturbation

Post by Gwi »

mario92 wrote: Thu May 20, 2021 1:45 am Namaste since i ended school in december 2017 i had tried to be celibate, but never succeed for a long time, at this time i think it is not wise to keep following that path. Problems with acne had arisen and also digestive problems, sleep problems and fatigue. I had tried asubha and meditation but i am still subject to desire as still watch facebook (and youtube and also have instagram due to bussiness issue) to counter atack disatisfaction and discontent, also everyday beautiful ladies enter my store, so im bombarded everyday. I also have problems with pornography, but i do my best to avoid using the phone. I want to ask some questions how do 5 precept practitioner deal with desire? Is taoist sex the only way to suceed as layman(like retaining seminal luquid and thus having good health)? My father tells me that i should look for a girlfriend, but social and economic conditions along the fear of getting sexual disease, having an unwanted pregnancy also arise in my mind, and also that woman can be very evil (from experience), or that you dont know if the other person is married (some can lie). Also, do desire diminish if i have girlfriend? Thanks I think one of the main problems is bad health.
The only best way is just: fasting routine

Prevention is better than cure.
Bahagia Tidak Harus Selalu Bersama

Dhammapadå 370
"Tinggalkanlah 5 (belantara) dan patahkan 5 (belenggu rendah),
Serta kembangkan 5 potensi (4 iddhipādā + 1 ussoḷhi).
Bhikkhu yang telah menaklukkan 5 kungkungan (belenggu tinggi),
Lebih layak disebut 'orang yang telah mengarungi air baih (saṃsārå)'."
Inedible
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Re: problem with masturbation

Post by Inedible »

Ask a close friend to lend you a hand.
sphairos
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Re: problem with masturbation

Post by sphairos »

Gwi wrote: Wed Sep 29, 2021 9:35 am
mario92 wrote: Thu May 20, 2021 1:45 am Namaste since i ended school in december 2017 i had tried to be celibate, but never succeed for a long time, at this time i think it is not wise to keep following that path. Problems with acne had arisen and also digestive problems, sleep problems and fatigue. I had tried asubha and meditation but i am still subject to desire as still watch facebook (and youtube and also have instagram due to bussiness issue) to counter atack disatisfaction and discontent, also everyday beautiful ladies enter my store, so im bombarded everyday. I also have problems with pornography, but i do my best to avoid using the phone. I want to ask some questions how do 5 precept practitioner deal with desire? Is taoist sex the only way to suceed as layman(like retaining seminal luquid and thus having good health)? My father tells me that i should look for a girlfriend, but social and economic conditions along the fear of getting sexual disease, having an unwanted pregnancy also arise in my mind, and also that woman can be very evil (from experience), or that you dont know if the other person is married (some can lie). Also, do desire diminish if i have girlfriend? Thanks I think one of the main problems is bad health.
The only best way is just: fasting routine

Prevention is better than cure.
do you also have a problem with masturbation?
How good and wonderful are your days,
How true are your ways?
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mario92
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Re: problem with masturbation

Post by mario92 »

sphairos wrote: Wed Sep 29, 2021 11:57 am
Gwi wrote: Wed Sep 29, 2021 9:35 am
mario92 wrote: Thu May 20, 2021 1:45 am Namaste since i ended school in december 2017 i had tried to be celibate, but never succeed for a long time, at this time i think it is not wise to keep following that path. Problems with acne had arisen and also digestive problems, sleep problems and fatigue. I had tried asubha and meditation but i am still subject to desire as still watch facebook (and youtube and also have instagram due to bussiness issue) to counter atack disatisfaction and discontent, also everyday beautiful ladies enter my store, so im bombarded everyday. I also have problems with pornography, but i do my best to avoid using the phone. I want to ask some questions how do 5 precept practitioner deal with desire? Is taoist sex the only way to suceed as layman(like retaining seminal luquid and thus having good health)? My father tells me that i should look for a girlfriend, but social and economic conditions along the fear of getting sexual disease, having an unwanted pregnancy also arise in my mind, and also that woman can be very evil (from experience), or that you dont know if the other person is married (some can lie). Also, do desire diminish if i have girlfriend? Thanks I think one of the main problems is bad health.
The only best way is just: fasting routine

Prevention is better than cure.
do you also have a problem with masturbation?
This post is from May, too much time, i have already been practising abstention from sex 2 months.
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StrivingforMonkhood
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Re: masturbation what's wrong?

Post by StrivingforMonkhood »

Sexual desire only causes delusions. It has not good value. Don't feel guilty if you fail, but know that celibacy is ultimately required for real liberation.


1). Stop having sex with others, first, if you are not in a committed relationship.
2). Stop all viewing of porn (gross defilement)
3). Stop having sex in you are in a committed relationship (harder to do, and less defiled)
4). Stop masturbating (not as defiled as 1 and 2 listed above, but still silly and needs to stop)

If you have to masturbate, then do it. But understand it is pointless and ridiculous. If your practice is serious, you will come to see this clearly over time. Then, you will lose all desire for such silly acts.
May we all fulfill our deepest wish for happiness

We are already Buddha
bpallister
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I masturbated yesterday while looking at pornography

Post by bpallister »

am i headed for a hell realm?
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cappuccino
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Re: I masturbated yesterday while looking at pornography

Post by cappuccino »

bpallister wrote: Sat Dec 04, 2021 10:28 pmAm I headed for a hell realm?
"But, monks, if one who is of poor conduct, an evil-minded one, a filthy doer of complete wickedness who acts in an underhand manner, who pretends to be a recluse yet is not a recluse, who pretends to lead the holy life yet does not lead the holy life, an inwardly-putrid, impure-natured one, were to embrace a kshatriya or brahman or householder woman with young and tender hands and feet, and sit or lie down close to her — for him, monks, there would be a long period of harm and suffering, and on the break-up of the body after death he would be reborn into a place of woe, a realm of misery, a place of suffering, a purgatory."

Aggikkhandopama Sutta
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bodom
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Re: I masturbated yesterday while looking at pornography

Post by bodom »

cappuccino wrote: Sun Dec 05, 2021 1:51 am
bpallister wrote: Sat Dec 04, 2021 10:28 pmAm I headed for a hell realm?
"But, monks, if one who is of poor conduct, an evil-minded one, a filthy doer of complete wickedness who acts in an underhand manner, who pretends to be a recluse yet is not a recluse, who pretends to lead the holy life yet does not lead the holy life, an inwardly-putrid, impure-natured one, were to embrace a kshatriya or brahman or householder woman with young and tender hands and feet, and sit or lie down close to her — for him, monks, there would be a long period of harm and suffering, and on the break-up of the body after death he would be reborn into a place of woe, a realm of misery, a place of suffering, a purgatory."

Aggikkhandopama Sutta
The monk in this sutta is headed to hell because they were a fraud and pretending to be Celibate when they were not. One doesn't go to hell simply for having proper sexual relations with ones husband/wife or even oneself. The Buddha even gave advice for couples who wanted to be reunited in future lives:
On one occasion the Blessed One was dwelling among the Bhagga people, near Suṃsumāragiri, in the Deer Park of the Bhesakalā Grove. One morning the Blessed One dressed, took his upper robe and bowl, and went to the dwelling of the householder Nakulapitā.3 Having arrived there, he sat down on the seat prepared for him. Then the householder Nakulapitā and the housewife Nakulamātā approached the Blessed One and, after paying homage to him, sat down to one side. So seated, the householder Nakulapitā said to the Blessed One:

“Venerable sir, ever since the young housewife Nakulamātā was brought home to me when I too was still young, I am not aware of having wronged her even in my thoughts, still less in my deeds. Our wish is to be in one another’s sight so long as this life lasts and in the future life as well.”

Then Nakulamātā the housewife addressed the Blessed One thus: “Venerable sir, ever since I was taken to the home of my young husband Nakulapitā, while being a young girl myself, I am not aware of having wronged him even in my thoughts, still less in my deeds. Our wish is to be in one another’s sight so long as this life lasts and in the future life as well.

”Then the Blessed One spoke thus: “If, householders, both wife and husband wish to be in one another’s sight so long as this life lasts and in the future life as well, they should have the same faith, the same moral discipline, the same generosity, the same wisdom; then they will be in one another’s sight so long as this life lasts and in the future life as well.”

When both are faithful and generous,

Self-restrained, of righteous living,

They come together as husband and wife

Full of love for each other.

Many blessings come their way,

They dwell together in happiness,

Their enemies are left dejected,
When both are equal in virtue.
Having lived by Dhamma in this world,

The same in virtue and observance,

They rejoice after death in the deva-world,

Enjoying abundant happiness.

AN 4:55
The Buddha says they will be reunited in heaven not hell.

:anjali:
Liberation is the inevitable fruit of the path and is bound to blossom forth when there is steady and persistent practice. The only requirements for reaching the final goal are two: to start and to continue. If these requirements are met there is no doubt the goal will be attained. This is the Dhamma, the undeviating law.

- BB
surfver
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Re: masturbation what's wrong?

Post by surfver »

There has been quite a bit of talk on scientific studies, just one example

https://neurosciencenews.com/neuroscien ... ain-15354/
Guggi
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Pornography, Masturbation and Sex Addiction - Dharma helped?

Post by Guggi »

Good morning everyone,

I am addicted to pornography and masturbation since 25 years.

32 days ago I watched a video from Yuttadhammo Bhikku about Pornography, Masturbation and Addiction in General on Youtube.
Since that moment, something changed in myself. I watched it again.
I never heard someone speaking so clear, rational and objective about this topic. I watched it again and again.
His words really hit me.
I understood, what he was trying to say.

I was really suffering about my "problem" since I was a teenager.
I had a lot of toxic relationships, which where built on sex, lust and desire.
Additional to that I couldn't stop masturbating for 5-6 times a day. I "needed" that feeling to relax, to be "happy" and to sleep.

Now I live the first time in my life celibate since 32 days.
That seemed really impossible (!!) for me, before that moment I watched the video.
I tried in the past a few times, but I couldn't resist longer than 5 days and during that time I suffered a lot.

I am not kidding: I never felt so good like in these days.

In this month I was thinking a lot about my past. I had a lot of bad experiences in relationships, which I created by myself, just to get another shot.
I tried to study the dhamma for now 6 years, but I think this month is a really gamechanger. I feel that I don't get controlled by my lust and desire at the moment (in that case). Even that feels for me like enlightment. :embarassed:

I never had this experience and I am really motivated to keep going the celibate.

Did someone here made some experiences like that, with the help of the dhamma?
Do you have some hint for me? I don't have a lot of people in my social circle to talk about that topic.

Thanks and regards
Guggi
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confusedlayman
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Re: masturbation what's wrong?

Post by confusedlayman »

sundara wrote: Sat Aug 08, 2009 12:34 am What's wrong to masturbate once in a while, what has buddhism got to say about that?
It leads to shameless and animal existence
I may be slow learner but im at least learning...
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Sam Vara
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Re: masturbation what's wrong?

Post by Sam Vara »

confusedlayman wrote: Thu Mar 14, 2024 9:57 am
sundara wrote: Sat Aug 08, 2009 12:34 am What's wrong to masturbate once in a while, what has buddhism got to say about that?
It leads to shameless and animal existence
Maybe. What is this view based on?
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Mahabrahma
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Re: masturbation what's wrong?

Post by Mahabrahma »

Celibacy isn't required for any level of liberation. That's just an old myth. If you don't think people can change things on a piece of paper, then worship your price of paper. Otherwise find the Buddha within. You may be surprised at what He says to you. He's quite the tolerant, and healthy, logical, and rational Spiritual Master.
That sage who has perfect insight,
at the summit of spiritual perfection:
that’s who I call a brahmin.

-Dhammapada.
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Sam Vara
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Re: masturbation what's wrong?

Post by Sam Vara »

Mahabrahma wrote: Thu Mar 14, 2024 11:47 am find the Buddha within. You may be surprised at what He says to you. He's quite the tolerant, and healthy, logical, and rational Spiritual Master.
Speaking metaphorically, I assume.

- He's dead, isn't he? Toleration, health, logic, and rationality being the preserve of the living.
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Mahabrahma
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Re: masturbation what's wrong?

Post by Mahabrahma »

Sam Vara wrote: Thu Mar 14, 2024 12:37 pm
Mahabrahma wrote: Thu Mar 14, 2024 11:47 am find the Buddha within. You may be surprised at what He says to you. He's quite the tolerant, and healthy, logical, and rational Spiritual Master.
Speaking metaphorically, I assume.

- He's dead, isn't he? Toleration, health, logic, and rationality being the preserve of the living.
I think out of all people, Buddha achieved the Deathless. What that is in it's exact fullness may not be fully understood to us, because it's such a wide grasp of Dhamma. But it's in the Dhamma. What the Buddha left us is priceless, but what it points to is the Treasure of Hope for Awakening within, which points to an eventual actual Awakening. And if we want to Awaken naturally, we have to at first be honest with ourselves. :namaste:
That sage who has perfect insight,
at the summit of spiritual perfection:
that’s who I call a brahmin.

-Dhammapada.
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